A joke a day, keeps the Stress away

by nocash 9th April 2009, 1:36 pm

Ah Beng is going to Night Classes
Ah Beng went to take night classes for the reason in future can get promotion or better job. During work, Ah Beng likes to show off to Ah Seng about his knowledge.
Ah Beng : Ah Seng ah... I've been taking night courses for 3 months already, next week is the exam.
Ah Seng : Oh... Good luck ah.
Then Ah Beng started show off...
Ah Beng: Ok, I test you, who is Graham Bell?
Ah Seng: Don't know
Ah Beng: He is the inventor of phone la... in 1876, see... if you take night courses, you would know this!
Ah Seng: ........................ *speechless*
The next day, Ah Beng shows off again...
Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... let me ask you, who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
Ah Seng: Wash your toilet one ah?
Ah Beng : No! He's the author of "Confessions"; nah nah nah... told you already, if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: ......................... *speechless + frustrated*
The next day, once again...
Ah Beng : Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Ah Seng : Your gay partner?
Ah Beng : Choiii!!! If you don't know don't simply answer la. He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: ....................... *speechless + frustrated + irritated
This time Ah Seng cannot tahan (stand) anymore and ask Ah Beng...
Ah Seng: Eh... Do you know who Ah Kaw is?
Ah Beng : Errrr... No!
Ah Seng: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this!!
Ah Beng: ........................ *fainted*

by **tish** 9th April 2009, 6:51 pm

But i felt stress after reading such a long joke leh... Razz

by **tish** 10th April 2009, 12:49 am

Ok, to support u i try to post some jokes...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

a) To x to the other side
b) There was a worm on the other side
c) there is a nice chick on the other side
d) the road was empty
e) All of the above

Ans: e wor! jocolor

by BluRz 10th April 2009, 2:31 pm

Tish... i think nocash joke is more interesting than urs...
Anyway, "HA HA HA" to ur joke....just to entertain u and make u happy wor ~~ cyclops

by **tish** 10th April 2009, 2:33 pm

Thanks wor!! Very Happy

by nocash 10th April 2009, 4:10 pm

Thanks Tish, for contributing.

by nocash 10th April 2009, 5:39 pm

Chocolate

A man was in an ice cream parlor waiting to buy some ice cream. there was one lady in front of him. she ordered a chocolate cone.
the soda-jerk told her he's sorry but they have run out of chocolate.
she said, "ok, then i'll have some chocolate."
he told her, "lady, i'm out of chocolate."
once again she said, "ok, i'll just have some chocolate."
exasperated, he said, "lady, spell van as in vanilla."
she spelled van.
he said, "good, now spell straw as in strawberry."
she spelled straw.
he said, "good, now spell f*** as in chocolate."
the lady said, "there is no f*** in chocolate."
he replied, "that's what i'm trying to tell you."

by **tish** 10th April 2009, 7:11 pm

nocash wrote:Thanks Tish, for contributing.

hmm... very fake leh.. but anyway Welcome Smile

by nocash 13th April 2009, 8:44 am

New Virus (Take Care)

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, verbally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK)

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone esle
VIA any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. this virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been copmletely eliminated from your system.

You should login to ceratoforte.forumotion.com forum at least once a day.
If you do not do so, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling
your life.

by dandeana21 14th April 2009, 1:30 am

Lol.. this is funniee.. btw, why do oranges blush so easily on a hot day?

by nocash 14th April 2009, 8:32 am

dandeana21 wrote:Lol.. this is funniee.. btw, why do oranges blush so easily on a hot day?

Agar agar hah...becos oranges grows on a cooling climate.

by dandeana21 14th April 2009, 10:48 am

** grinz ** wrong.. they kenna sun kiss (Sunkist).

by lawrenceke 14th April 2009, 11:06 am

dandeana21 wrote:** grinz ** wrong.. they kenna sun kiss (Sunkist).

wahahahaha.. wat a way to start tuesday.. Laughing

by luvxiaobeng 14th April 2009, 11:54 am

Not sure if you all heard of this from the radio...

Qns: Y is Vivo City so BIG????

Ans: Becoz there is a Giant inside....(as in Giant hypermarket)

by dandeana21 15th April 2009, 8:21 pm

luvxiaobeng wrote:Not sure if you all heard of this from the radio...

Qns: Y is Vivo City so BIG????

Ans: Becoz there is a Giant inside....(as in Giant hypermarket)

den there's another one..
Qns: Y is Suntec City so small???

Ans: Coz got no Giant inside.. (oni got Carrefour)..

tongue

by nocash 16th April 2009, 8:30 am

Four Letter Word

Patient: During my operation, Nurse, I heard the surgeon use a four-letter word
that upset me very much.
Nurse: What word was that?
Patient: "Oops!"

by luvxiaobeng 16th April 2009, 2:55 pm

Wa... No Cash you got so much joke in your pocket one ar.... Hmmm.... Muz get to kw you betta... to keep my stress away.... Cheers bro... Thanks alot....

by nocash 16th April 2009, 4:57 pm

luvxiaobeng wrote:Wa... No Cash you got so much joke in your pocket one ar.... Hmmm.... Muz get to kw you betta... to keep my stress away.... Cheers bro... Thanks alot....

You get shock when you see me, people says my looks look very serious guy.
i'm a very quite guy too, my wife said i always no much topic want..., just listen only...

by **tish** 16th April 2009, 5:08 pm

nocash wrote:Four Letter Word

Patient: During my operation, Nurse, I heard the surgeon use a four-letter word
that upset me very much.
Nurse: What word was that?
Patient: "Oops!"

yhis is the only joke i find interesting lol!!!!

by nocash 16th April 2009, 6:28 pm

tish wrote:
nocash wrote:Four Letter Word

Patient: During my operation, Nurse, I heard the surgeon use a four-letter word
that upset me very much.
Nurse: What word was that?
Patient: "Oops!"
yhis is the only joke i find interesting lol!!!!

wu nya bo...hahahaaa...

by luvxiaobeng 16th April 2009, 6:50 pm

Wa Tish standard veri high leh.... Tish share one leh.... See how... Hehe...

by nocash 20th April 2009, 8:37 am

The Laziest

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to
trick them into doing some work for a change.
"I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," he
announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up?"
Nine hands went up.
"Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man.
"Too much trouble," came the reply.

by **tish** 20th April 2009, 9:31 am

luvxiaobeng wrote:Wa Tish standard veri high leh.... Tish share one leh.... See how... Hehe...

errmmm aiyaaa i no time share la... i moderating the forum leh!! clown

by nocash 23rd April 2009, 8:16 am

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, And Nobody

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

by Fortec 23rd April 2009, 6:59 pm

How woman describe a car spare part

A typical day at the workshop.

A woman came in and asked for a 'seven-hundred- ten'.

We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked,

"What is a seven-hundred- ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine.

I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710!!

He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked,

"Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."

Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is..........

Women? The mechanic fainted!!

A joke a day, keeps the Stress away ATT511600-1

A joke a day, keeps the Stress away ATT511600-1

by **tish** 23rd April 2009, 7:14 pm

Fortec wrote:

lol!! WOMEN!!!! lol!

by dandeana21 23rd April 2009, 7:20 pm

tish wrote:
Fortec wrote:

lol!! WOMEN!!!!

WAH PIANG!!! fainted sia... oil becomes 710.. pengz...

anyway hor.. does it oso indicate that WOMEN are very creative too.. lol!

by luvxiaobeng 23rd April 2009, 7:47 pm

Fortec wrote:How woman describe a car spare part

A typical day at the workshop.

A woman came in and asked for a 'seven-hundred- ten'.

We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked,

"What is a seven-hundred- ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine.

I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710!!

He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked,

"Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."

Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is..........

Women? The mechanic fainted!!

Haah... tis is a very sexist joke... We women are not so Stupid 1 lor.... Not fair...

by **tish** 23rd April 2009, 7:48 pm

lol, Fortec, look like u tio shoot back lol

by Fortec 23rd April 2009, 8:46 pm

It's just a joke I saw, cut n paste...no puns intended lah.
I LOVE WOMEN!!!

by Fortec 23rd April 2009, 8:49 pm

nocash wrote:
i'm a very quite guy too, my wife said i always no much topic want..., just listen only...

I always thought women wants men just to listen only? Razz

by nocash 23rd April 2009, 10:49 pm

Fortec wrote:
nocash wrote:
i'm a very quite guy too, my wife said i always no much topic want..., just listen only...

I always thought women wants men just to listen only?

Ha ha... that's a funny joke bro fortec.

by **tish** 23rd April 2009, 11:45 pm

Fortec wrote:
nocash wrote:
i'm a very quite guy too, my wife said i always no much topic want..., just listen only...

I always thought women wants men just to listen only?

and when u talk they say u should listen only, when u listen they say u no topic...

OMG what should MEN do?? Shocked

by nocash 23rd April 2009, 11:51 pm

go kopi thiam lim kopi lor....

by **tish** 23rd April 2009, 11:54 pm

nocash wrote:go kopi thiam lim kopi lor....

har, outdate wor....

now old uncles go kopitiam use lap top lol!

and lim kopi at the same time lol!

by Fortec 24th April 2009, 12:10 am

and watch EPL also, chat with the beer lady....my area the KOFU beer lady thumbs up....I see a huge increase in numbers of old uncles when I walk past haha.

by **tish** 24th April 2009, 12:24 am

hahaha i not interested staying at kopitiam alot of smoke/ crowded/ hot.

I prefer aircon cheap cafe like aircon kopitiam/ HK cafe/ 7-11? lol

by Fortec 24th April 2009, 1:43 am

Melfiend link this on chat last night...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpV1dEp7znU

It's not meant to be sexist hor...juz enjoy ok?

by luvxiaobeng 24th April 2009, 7:41 am

Fortec wrote:Melfiend link this on chat last night...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpV1dEp7znU

It's not meant to be sexist hor...juz enjoy ok?

okok... now I've got concludsion tat WE Ladies r actually the onces tat keeps your stress away okok So men... Love ur CFO's more... we'll make you happy.... Very Happy

by **tish** 24th April 2009, 10:56 am

luvxiaobeng wrote:
Fortec wrote:Melfiend link this on chat last night...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpV1dEp7znU

It's not meant to be sexist hor...juz enjoy ok?

okok... now I've got concludsion tat WE Ladies r actually the onces tat keeps your stress away okok So men... Love ur CFO's more... we'll make you happy....

But ladies keep the men stressfree and stressful leh!!! lol!

by Flarea 24th April 2009, 1:39 pm

BUSINESS UPDATE:

JUST ANNOUNCED - IKEA TO TAKE OVER GM

Ikea has announced its intention to take over GM and to sell cars.

In that case, we will be in deep shit.

All they give you is this ...

A joke a day, keeps the Stress away Image001

A joke a day, keeps the Stress away Image001

And ...

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A joke a day, keeps the Stress away Image002

by **tish** 24th April 2009, 1:41 pm

EHHHH!!!! ???????

Shocked

by Flarea 24th April 2009, 1:42 pm

tish wrote:EHHHH!!!! ???????

It's a joke... >.> tish ...

by nocash 24th April 2009, 1:43 pm

Haha.... one size fits all....

by nocash 27th April 2009, 8:49 am

Fiary Tales

What the different between an amg mo and
hokkien chinese start a fairy tale.

Ans:
An ang mo starts with once apon a time.....

Hokkien starts with lim pei ka li kong.....

by **tish** 27th April 2009, 11:24 am

nocash wrote:Fiary Tales

What the different between an amg mo and
hokkien chinese start a fairy tale.

Ans:
An ang mo starts with once apon a time.....

Hokkien starts with lim pei ka li kong.....

lol

by dandeana21 27th April 2009, 11:30 am

Flarea wrote:BUSINESS UPDATE:

JUST ANNOUNCED - IKEA TO TAKE OVER GM

Ikea has announced its intention to take over GM and to sell cars.

In that case, we will be in deep shit.

All they give you is this ...

hahaha.. i like this... Ikea will prob make sure tt u buy ur car in parts...

by nocash 30th April 2009, 8:44 am

Parking Space

The old gent was backing his Rolls into the last available parking space when
a zippy red sports car whipped in behind him to take the spot.

The young driver jumped out and said: "Sorry Pops, but you've got to be young
and smart to do that."

The old man ignored the remark and kept reversing until the Rolls had crunched
the sports car into a crumpled heap.

"Sorry son, you've got to be old and rich to do that!"

by **tish** 30th April 2009, 12:41 pm

lol!!!

by kapitan 30th April 2009, 3:57 pm

U.S.Navy releases a Somali pirate chief -

The US Navy today announced that it has released a senior planner for the Somali pirate ring after questioning him extensively for 27 days while being held prisoner aboard a US aircraft carrier in theArabian Sea .
In a humanitarian gesture, the terrorist was given $50 US and a white 1962 Ford Falcon automobile upon being released from custody. The Navy even went to the trouble to ensure his seat belt was correctly fastened.
The attached photo shows the terrorist on his way home just after being released by the Navy.
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A joke a day, keeps the Stress away Capirater

A joke a day, keeps the Stress away Capirater

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